On More Stylish, Eloquent Posts

I should really start sounding more mature, witty, and all things more literary inclined when i blog. So will beishan please come up to the podium and raise her right hand?

The Blogger's Oath
I, loyal blogger of NCC,
shall solemnly vow not to sound simplistic,
not to succumb to the temptation of plain sounding posts.
I shall endeavour to use imagery, irony, aliteration and all things
chim-sounding.
I shall post in a tone that is strongly biased, yet subtle enough to put
it across in a stinging witty sort of way (huh?)
And i shall solemnly adhere to the Blogger's Code of Conduct:
To not be overly self-indulgent,
To give juicy anecdotes about life and bak kua,
To give snide yet complimentary remarks about friends,
To use expletives when i'm extremely angry,
And to allow you, beloved reader, to have a more fulfilling reading experience.

So help me.

Well, looks like i have a long way to go before i get the "mature" part down pat, but hey, its a start.