One in Love

The farewell party was over. I am glad i controlled well, not to cry infront of everyone. The memories, the experiences, the laughter, the jokes, the tears, the conflicts, the achievements, the cheers, the spirit, the pain, the love... everything came flooding back when the songs were played especially "say goodbye" . The words really touched me, though i tried to sing along so i wouldnt think much about anything else. Or perhaps it was the resounding applause that rang into my heart and touched my soul, the realisation that we'd actually succeeded. We finished the race, and we finished it well.What i thought would be a stiff, mechanical boring party touched my heart today, and by the campfire i felt an ache i'd never felt before, as if i was leaving a loved one. I swore i wouldnt cry before it started. I didnt cry after 3 Sec 4 farewell parties, i didnt cry after Orientation, and I sure as hell wouldnt cry infront of the entire unit. Heck. It was difficult. But i made it. Though i confess i did tear and credit goes to Con's and yuling mdm's speech and too, my dearest Sec 2 sqd singing that touching song. That song really really touched me. Of course, there's another reason which is that i feel that i am actually attached to the sec 2s much much more then i thought i am. Though at times, i'm really pissed with the attitude they are giving me. Those heck care attitude they had. But, I could not deny they did make my life in NP more worthwhile. I've always wanted to give up, and just get on, but they pulled me back up. For a million of times i said i wanted to show them what a real training is, but i never succeeded. And for a matter of fact, their performance last night wasnt that amazing compared to the rest, but i enjoyed it. did i? Ha. Yes. Looking at them trying to take off their cap and turn and stuffs melts my heart. Interaction time was the killer. I felt like pulling each of them up and give them each a big big hug. I'll really miss them. and i know the reason is simple. The more precious something is to you, the more painful it is to let it go. And well, it was only till then that i realised it pained all of us to let it go, that all of us saw NP as how precious it truely was in our eyes. Our Saturdays are NP uniform-free as there is no more CCA to attend. Warm as they may be, we wore them with pride and fervour every week. I didnt feel anything when i received my invitation card to the event, commenting on how "nicely" made they were(LOL) and slipped it into my notebook, everything going in super slow motion. Didnt want to think about the implications of that simple movement. Only when i see the sec 3s running here and there yst, did i realise it was gone..
I would like to thank the Sec 3s for such a perfect night. I guess it was really good. Though the location was a bit off. The song the two musicians played nearly put the whole s4s to tears. it was our song! such a surprise i would say. Also s4s, thank you for 4 wonderful years. Thank you for the cheering, the comforting, the hugs, the encouragements. For the late night proposals discussion and logistics checking. For the endless practices of songs and dances. For the long hours of meeting after meeting after meeting. For the basketball matches, for the barbaric water melon game. For the staying back to clean the NP room, paint the room (which is still unfinished since sec 2) to clean dirt off the lamps, flick silverfishes out of booklets. For school events duty. For christmas night duty. For the ushering in our half uniform to carpark duty in full uniform with gloves. For all the dirty jokes and gay gestures. For the birthday celebrations filled with jokes, strip dai dee, kicking, mocking, and Fish and Co. For the BBQs and beach outings. For the late night cup noodles, pizzas and sleepovers. For the spirit of Sec 1 camp, the glamour of Farewell, the toil of Newspaper Collection, the triumph of Orientation, the energy of cheering competitions.. and so many other things which i cant place now. There's just so many...I just realised that every single day was different with you. There was never a time when you let me simply exist. No, you pulled me in and made me live life how i wanted to: to the fullest. There were high points and depressing moments. Slacking and toil. Conflicts and reconciliation. But there was always Love. Love for one another, love for our sqdmates, love for the unit, and love for God. One in Love indeed, One in Love. One year ago, i cringed at that corny phrase. Now, i shout it out loud with pride and conviction, for you, S4S, have made me what i am today. You're the best thing that has happened to me till now, and i thank you so much for that. We have fought the good fight. We have finished the race. And we have kept the Faith. And after today, i can safely say that we've succeeded. PL Sec 4 sqd'04 Forever.

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

disappointment

all these things about ndp training being tough, all the i-really-wanna-quit-np-or-i-am-gonna-die attitude. i've had enough man. c'mon la. this isnt something that difficult to decide on. if you cant cope with the training, or rather put it this way, you dont have the commitment or dont even bother to turn up for training, then i rather not have you in the parade itself. whats the point of dwelling in something which you are not interested in?? giving all kinds of excuses from headache to leg pain. head to toe. yeah right. it seems that your best friends and you have such good telepathy that you guys can be sick altogether at the same time. (6 together & same sickness) wow. -clap- just give you a hint: if you wanna fake, at least say different illnesses. cos to me, your world only has one disease-stomachache.

its really disappointing at the rate you guys are going. i'm not saying its wrong to be unsure of your drills, its perfectly fine. but now, the thing is that, i dont see any effort put in. (this only applys to certain people. i know some are tryin' real hard) the truth is, your dont know how lucky you are to be marching in with your sqdmates. this is a real time to bond. its a good time to build up your unity. but i guess, your are not aware of these. i'm just totally disguested by the attitude your are giving. i'm tryin' my best not to make the trainings that boring and tough for you guys, but whats the point? i dont see any point of doing these. since no one appreciates, well, i just have to say, i think i've given up. its not worthy. your wanting to study, wanting to rest. what about me? i'm not that brainy after all?! i want to study. i too need to mug for my o levels. i need a rest too. yet, so what? i'm not given extra time to do all these stuffs as well. if any of your are actually reading this, and if you arent happy with the things ive said, you can just confront me in school whatsoever. i dont give a damn. about this. anymore. enough is enough.

for you: feel isolated? never. you know we will be here for you right? its their lost for not picking you. i dont care. in or not, the both of us will still find time to spend with you. alright? -cheers-